Tuesday, July 25, 2006

 

Eurobutting

What's going on in Europe? First, Frenchman Zinedine Zinane delivers the "Head Butt Heard Round the World" in the World Cup final, then a British jockey head butts a horse. (I won't say what the jockey's last name is but I emphatically deny that I am related to him.)

I blame soccer. Headers are an encouraged tactic in that sport, and it's a short hop from there to head butting. It's obvious that we need to snuff out soccer in the USA before the epidemic of head butting reaches our shores. Here we have a time-honored American way of taking out our frustrations on the field of play – by rifling fastballs at the opponent. Yep, Ozzie Guillen is mad at someone again.

Please children, don't use your heads as projectiles. Throw inanimate projectiles with your arms, as God intended.


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